Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Furtive Holidaze

This thanksgiving was a nice. At first we were a bit sad that we weren't going to be seeing any family. Then we heard about all the crazy weather everyone had and we were very happy we weren't doing any travelling this thanksgiving. Pam made her first turkey, and it was the best ever! We went out to a local farm and picked out the cutest looking turkey. The farmers pulled him out and then they were kind enough to even let me cut his head off! Unfortunately we didn't have the camera with us, otherwise we would have some nice John Carpenter-esque pictures of thanksgiving to share. As it goes we have one that reminds me of a ball of snot.

It looked much better after all was said and done, thanks to Pam's amazing skills as a first time kung-fu-chef. 

I'm still mostly a vegetarian, but seriously, I have to get protein from somewhere and I'm about as close to convincing Pam that blue cheese tastes good as I am to convincing her that we should start cooking with tofu. Somethings would be nice-world peace, honest politicians and free lasers for every kid that gets a B on their first geometry test-but they're not going to happen in this lifetime. The turkey she made was amazing though! We also made some dinner and cinnamon rolls. 

Later we played fat dog and that was about it. 

Our dogs were festive as well

I think my family will be happy to know that I have not outgrown the childish tendency to draw on the family dog(s)-none are exempt, cracker just happens to be the easiest as he's all white. I've thought about pimping him out as a billboard, but Pam says it's not a good idea. 

TW found out how delicious rabbit tastes the other night-I had to go out in my pajamas and bring him in because we wouldn't listen us and out yard is pretty deep-and ever since then he has spent almost his entire time outside looking for either the rest of the rabbit that magically disappeared by the time he went outside the next morning, or an entirely new one. It's nice to know that he keeps other animals out of our yard. I'm just glad we don't have badgers nearby. 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The food chain

The other day Pam and I were talking in the kitchen, she was doing womanly stuff like cook while I was doing manly stuff like the dishes (with my face, naked in the cold!), about what we wanted to do for thanksgiving this year as we're so close to the great white north that not even her family is willing to come up here. We decided we wanted to try making some new things like croissants, pumpkin pie, etc. Then she looks at me and says "I want to try having a turkey this year." This caught me completely off guard, and not because I'm a mostly vegetarian-long live the revulsion! I looked at her and said, "Well, I mean we've only been married about a year and a little more than a half, and I'm not sure right now is the best time. Plus, I think we should probably master the art of having children before moving onto other species..." She just looked at me with that look that all married men know and love so well. She would have smacked me but I was holding some of our nice dishes, which I could have used as a shield and they might have been damaged. So I was saved, for now. 

I think people should be required to pass a simple test to see if they can have children. Namely, they'll be put in a room (white and padded) by themselves; in the room there will be a box with a board nailed to the top of it. The board on top will have various shapes of different sizes. There will be a bucket next to it with various pieces that one would think will fit into the various shapes cut out in the board. The truth of the matter is that none of them will fit. Those that come to this realization and sit calmly and wait until someone comes to get them pass and will not be chemically castrated for the next year. It's a good think I'm not in charge. 

In the words of someone about some people "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country, and neither do we." -W